Etiquette
When Your Host Says You Don’t Need to Bring Anything, Believe Them!
An unrequested contribution to a meal may not be the gift you intend
When I’m invited to someone’s home for a meal, I ask, “What can I bring?”
If my host says I can bring a particular dish, I do. But if they say, “Nothing,” I don’t bring food for that event.
To be clear: I don’t go empty-handed.
That would be rude. I bring a gift such as custom note cards created by my photographer husband; scented candles, flowers, or a plant (if I know they’ll be appreciated); or a nice bottle of wine or liqueur for my hosts to enjoy later. But I don’t bring a dish to be served at that event.
I have some wonderful friends I love dearly but they don’t listen when I tell them I have the menu planned and they shouldn’t bring anything. It’s frustrating.
I also have some wonderful friends who think the same way I do and we’ve agreed not to even bother going through the “what can I bring” motions anymore. It makes going to one another’s homes for meals so pleasant.
When you bring a dish the host isn’t expecting, you create challenges for your host.
